Dear Wags,

How many times must we say this? Children, there are no Snubs and Surprises. We’ve waited for the smoke around this year’s Oscar nominations to waft away. Now, let’s address the latest Barbie hoo-ha. Maybe you loved Barbie. Maybe you trekked to the multiplex in a hot pink jumpsuit. Maybe you believe Barbie to be a set of fuschia life paddles jolting sickly Hollywood. In any case, suggesting the movie was robbed of Academy recognition is goofier than the Ken song. Barbie, a candy-colored licensing trifle, received 8 Oscar nods, including Best Picture and Best Adapted Screenplay for Noah Baumbach and Greta Gerwig, who gave a blob of toy marketing some narrative shape. Ryan Gosling and America Ferrera were each nominated for supporting performances. Margot Robbie and Gerwig, who were not tapped in the acting and directing categories, have been nominated for multiple Oscars in their careers. Life is rife with uncertainty, but this isn’t the last you’ll hear of them. In no sane universe were they pushed to the margins, unless The Margins is a Silver Lake boutique showering them with swag.

We are sympathetic to the argument that the Oscars routinely ignore movies the public actually likes, which contributes to the inexorable erosion of their audience. We also think great comedies are given short shrift. But honestly! Barbie was fawned over for two years. Far from being undermined by the patriarchy, it was the media’s blonde darling. We commend Pamela Paul of the New York Times for courageously suggesting the movie wasn’t that good. We hasten to add that the Times published exactly 3 billion other articles praising its genius. Stories about Barbie being dissed are frantic attempts to squeeze it for more headlines. Barbie need not be a world-changing statement. If you enjoyed it, it should be enough to say it was fun.

We do require more fun movies that moviegoers will pay to watch. Wonky as they are, the Oscars try to strike a balance between cotton candy and art. We have a reflexive habit of mocking the Academy’s hypocrisies, but this time out, they did pretty well. The year’s Best Picture nominees include clever comedies (American Fiction, The Holdovers, Poor Things), a thriller (Anatomy of a Fall), ambitious adaptations (Killers of the Flower Moon, Oppenheimer, Zone of Interest), a romance (Past Lives), a high-end biopic (Maestro) and an unabashed crowd-pleaser (yes, Barbie). The list includes summer blockbusters, fall prestige pictures, shoestring indies, and European imports. The grosses of these movies range from billions to loose change. You may quibble on the margins (May/December) but it’s a pretty fair rendering of the year’s best films.

Will it make a difference when it comes to drawing eyeballs to the telecast? Don’t be daft. And when the curtain does go up, expect no big surprises. Whatever you think of Barbie, Oppenheimer is probably Unstoppenheimer.

Yours Ever,

Marcello Rubini and Sarah Brown